TVC079 Goal Setting Sabotage

TVC079 Goal Setting Sabotage

5 Reasons You May Be Roadblocking Your Own Goals

Why Goal Setting Isn't Working - the quick tips you can do to overcome leaving your goals on paper and turn them into results

I know I work with some wonderfully inspirational high achievers, however the commitment through my content is to provide as many people as possible real, accessible and tangible tools to help all of you design the business and personal life you really love and can sustain. 

So let's get started...on today's hot topic of why your goal setting may not getting may not be working out...  

There's so much out in the world at the moment about

• how to set goals
• what to do for your focus
• how to define what you want
• finding your why (really knowing it)...... .all very valid and crucial anchors for success and ones I also use in my programs - however the issue is, we're not creating the actions, and we're not achieving results. We set goals but nothing is happening when life gets in the way.

Here are five core reasons why people don't achieve their goals and how you can actually turn that around very quickly.

1. It doesn't resonate
2. It isn't relevant & It's not real time
3. You're Not Facing Your Fears
4. Distraction
5. Self Discipline (or lack of the integrated approach for getting things done)

1) RESONATE: Is it REALLY YOUR why?

The first reason that most people don't achieve their goals is they don't know their why, or they got inspired by someone else and forgot to really check in with their own anchor.

Quite simply, if you don't want to fight for a goal, if you don't believe in something enough, if you're not gonna actually stand by that with conviction and clarity, then obviously it doesn't mean enough for you to move heaven and earth and to start working on it.

Your why could be as simple as:

• just showing yourself self-discipline, or doing something because you want to set a role model example for your kids,
• or because you finally want to look after the body that you have,
• or it could be that you're starting a business and you need to get more information around how to be a better business person commercially as well as sales and marketing.

Your why is what is motivating you to set this goal.

So, is your goal resonating with you? Is it really relevant to you?

2) RELEVANCE 

Once you start talking about goal setting its figuring out is that goal relevant to you.  You can be inspired by other people, but you have to have a goal that's relevant to you and your situation. 

• Why is this goal important to you?
• What's the truth, and I had a great little chat with Lane Beachley, about this about the comfort with discomfort . We're so afraid of our own truth.

It's not the truth that other people give us, it's just owning your stuff. Owning where you're at, owning what you really, really want.

Find people around you where you can be completely transparent.

The real honesty around this is its very, very few people that you can actually earn your truth with, and number one is that many of us can't earn our truth with ourselves. So it takes time to reflect on that.

You can't have an understanding and transparency around what you really want if you don't take time out to sit down and listen to your gut, because remember on the future episodes, before I talk about the fact your ego is not your amigo. So, what's going on in your head, the stories that you're telling yourself, that's all they are. They are rationalisations imposed on you, by society, by old rules, by the high-dry of given situations and scenarios that aren't even realistic.

You need to sit down and focus on what your core truth is. Be brave with that, the results coming from holding space are very powerful. Take your time to figure it out:

• Why do you really want this goal?
• What is your truth? What really lights you up?
• Where are you really transparent?

And this is not just in business; this is also relationships. 

3) FACING YOUR FEAR

The third reason you don't achieve your goals most, probably is fear.

Fear is the biggest thing that shifts our nations. It shifts communities and countries into doing decisions that aren't purposeful and aren't for the greater good because fear makes us make irrational decisions. It makes us make us manipulate situations. It holds us back from thinking and doing and acting freely with transparency, courage, and conviction. Fear is a dangerous place to operate from.

Can you get past your fears: afraid of failure, afraid of hurt. We're afraid of seeming arrogant, too this, too that, too soft, too good, too excited, too confident, too ambitious; all these stories.

Replace your fear with curiosity.  So, what is real truth?  You know. Write it down for yourself where you feel no one can see it. Write it down and own it. What do you really want?  What is really true to you?

Instead of thinking, "I really, really like this person, but it wont work out," or "I really love this project, except I don't have the qualifications," or "I would like to pursue that, but I probably won't get accepted," or "I probably will get rejected,"  "I probably won't be able to do it," come from a place of curiosity and ask:

• Why do I like it?
• Why do I want that?
• What would be amazing?
• What would I need to know?"

So, instead - get curious:

• Replace your fear with asking questions.
• Replace your fear about achieving your goal with curiosity.
• Maybe you're actually secretly afraid of what success would look like. You think that people will judge you for your success. You think you will be judged for your decision-making. Ask yourself what real success could feel like, happiness and connection create a great tool to propel you forward.

 You need to believe in yourself for others to believe in you. And that takes daily practise.

4) DISTRACTION

The fourth reason that most people don't achieve their goals is distraction. The lack of focus is probably the biggest reason that I think most people end up not getting results.

Yeah, I start off really well, but life gets in the way. I have to go and pick up my kids, or x happens, or I get so many projects...I don't have time."

Uber focus ensures you have healthy habits and a clear set of actions that are really crucial. Distractions are there to pull you off course, but it's your choice what you do with those.

For example use the NOW/ THEN /NEXT AND IF QUADRANT.

The 4 CHECK POINTS box.

If you have to deal with something now, then be productive about it.

Make a conscious decisions of what you're doing with stuff that comes across your desk, comes into your life, conversations, who you hang out with. All those things are distractions, underneath they serve a purpose.

They are part of your goal. They are part of your truth. They are part of your transparency. And that means on a daily basis.

So, you know, it's just an excuse if you think life gets in the way. You need to be in charge of that life, you need to design a life that you love for a remarkable month and remarkable years.

5) DISCIPLINE

That brings me onto the fifth reason that people don't achieve their goals. Self-Discipline, what separates successful people from people who think about things a lot, is "the art of doing".

Discipline is one of the things I am so grateful for, for my family values, rituals at home, for going away to boarding school, first jobs - all these elements built the fact that I have an incredible work ethic and a incredible self-discipline.

Self-discipline also means a nurturing side to blend personal wellbeing for commercial wellbeing.  

For self-love, for nurturing, for well-being, for me time, friends and family and all of those elements.

Discipline isn't just slogging away on stuff to say you're working hard.

Discipline is a sense of balance and blending your life.  

• Discipline knowing where your focus needs to be and doing the work.
• Discipline is making hard choices on where you need to spend your time and discipline is reflecting daily on where you're most productive moments are going to be.

To Wrap Up:  The 5 Reasons Your Why Goal Setting Might Not Be Working

1. They don't have a strong enough why so they need to replace that with clarity.
2. The truth is not own, they are too afraid to acknowledge what they really, really want and how they really feel. Be transparent, step into yourself, get rid of what other people are thinking about you and hold your space.
3. Fear, the worst thing ever that can be your kryptonite. Step through that, ask questions and be curious. The simply thing to erase fear is curiosity.
4. Distractions, where are you focusing, remember you're on a mission, if you're goal is right you have clarity, transparency, you got to be able to prepare for it and you have to have clarity and you can have focus.
5. The last thing is discipline, a lack of planning and a lack of self-discipline will unravel the best laid plans. Make sure you have a sense of self-discipline to integrate your life to know how you spend your time, who you're hanging out with and what you're doing on working towards your goals. Every single person that has a successful life puts time into building how that should look and what you should do.

Sometimes you'll have moments where you'll need to switch off. Sometimes you're going to have downtime, life is a evolution, it shouldn't be a struggle, you shouldn't be pushing against a glass wall.

Give yourself permission to relax a little bit, reflect on your truth, have fun on the journey and remember that those five things clarity, transparency, curiosity, focus and planning will help you move away from lack of why, afraid of your truth, fear overall, distraction and a lack of self-discipline.

We are only as good as the life we want to create  and our actions day to day. You're never alone, there is always a tribe out there to help you - so reach out below or come and get connected on Facebook/nfogdenmoore.

Stay healthy, be wealthy in your thinking, and appreciate the wisdom that comes to you from experience.

Yours in Vitality

Coach Nikki

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