TMM104 How To Back YourselfJun 11, 2019
How To Back Yourself. 3 simple tips to ensure you are grounded in setting your goals and trusting your crazy ideas to pursue life & the work you love.
On this episode I kick off with a very simple into and 2 minutes about getting out of your own way. Then in part 2 and 3 I get asked a couple of awesome little questions from a long time friend and big goal achiever - Alison Flemming, General Manager of Finance at Westfield/Scentregroup.
- Why do I do the show
- What does success mean to me.
So it's pretty raw, fun and simple today.
I hope it gives you some insight and inspiration on why you absolutely must NOT give up on yourself and that you are your greatest asset regardless of what anyone else's opinion is - your's of yourself matters first.
Acknowledging Your Mindset needs to change - this may be your greatest challenge
First up as part of the 100th episode series sessions I share a little bit of no mojo on why it is so vital to have self belief. How recognising the difference between deep insight and ego unlocks a whole new level of success.
Your Ego is NOT your Amigo
No matter what goes on in your brain, you must back yourself. Easier said than done as the biggest hurdle and roadblocks we experience - are actually coming down to the fact that our limiting beliefs, judgements and "perceptions" get in our own way.
We know all of this right? We know mindset is everything. So how do we actually BACK ourselves?
How To Back Yourself 1, 2 and 3
You must be fearless, you must be blameless and you have to be shameless (aka judgement of self and others does not serve you at all)
.....That doesn't mean doing a nudie streak throughout your office building at midday and turning everything upside down. It actually means recognising where your triggers come from, in the moment of self doubt and understanding that your ego is not your amigo.
1. Know thyself:
Figure out what you really, really want in life and use my Three R's for goal setting.
- Does it resonate?
- Is it relevant to you?
- And is it real time?
Why: Because chances are, if you tick all those boxes, you're going to succeed and do things you never thought were possible.
We only "know what we know" so according to quantum physics there really is unlimited reality. Be open minded, have an open soul and enjoy the journey, because that's what it's all about.
2. Have a really really good pit crew.
Surround yourself with really good people now. Those who REALLY support you and don't need explainations, they are not trying to get you to fit into their way of thinking - but rather encourage you to thrive and shine in all areas of life. I have found the best mentors and friends are those who ask you "why not" instead of why.
They are likeminded, supportive, tell you the truth and back you all the way. Cherish them. Pit Crew like this are crucial for sustainable success as we cannot do this journey alone.
3. Celebrate the milestones and have Gratitude for where you are right now
Hello! Press pause for just a second. Stop - look up and around. Do you realise how amazing life is??
Part 2 - Interviewed By Alison - 100 Episodes What Keeps Me Going?
Alison: "Nikki, congratulations on 100 Mojo shows. I'm really curious as I'm sure all your audience is, what's kept you going? Why do you love this show, and why do you think it's important?"
Nikki: re you curious because you've been waiting for me to stop a long time ago?
Alison:No, I'm curious because I love it"
I have such great friends and cheerleaders who are extremely successful in their own right. One of those being Alison Flemming. After I interviewed her for the show (she's episode 105 so stay tuned) she flipped roles and asked me two poignant questions on being the Mojo Maker.
Q1: What drives me forward with the show and all I do?
I thought about that the other day, and I think it's I just have a complete and utter mission now to declutter all this information that we've been fed in today's society.
I believe the straightforward approach to working with leaders gets me up every day. We have to give people practical tools to navigate from chaos to calm.
There's incredible stories not only of people who are inspiring, but they do the work. That's the difference between having an idea and wishing for something, and actually creating change.
Me to me: Hope is not a strategy.Nikki Fogden-Mooore
I don't do hope projects.
We are all agents of change, and I have had so many moments of self-doubt. I've called this show fondly "The Muppet Show" because sometimes I turn up, and we're interviewing everyone, I think, "What am I doing?" - I hope they don't think I'm crazy!
But I can't not do it. What I do gets me up at two in the morning. I'm inspired by it and have an extreme sense of responsibility, care and intent about all levels of my coaching, content and views on leadership for life.
To Me Companies Are The New Community
That statement is a major one throughout my Leadership Mojo© programs, my books, interviews and strategic projects under way at present. It is the cornerstone for why I work so hard to support great leaders.
In the old early days, the 1960s, companies were big conglomerates, and there were only three or five, and they provided all the jobs.
Now we have individuals that are leading businesses that are providing all the jobs, and some of these individuals are 25. We are creating leaders at any age because they come straight out of the university or not, and suddenly they're responsible for paying salaries. They're suddenly responsible for holding down relationships, paying their own bills and driving a business.
So we've got kind of a reverse psychology going on in our society at the moment. How do we get a values based community where people are actually going to effectively do the actions required to create a sustainable community - from inside and out? We can put lots of things on paper, but if we don't do the work… it's just a nice list of hopes..
So that's why I do the show. I Back Myself in This as much as I can.
I do the show because on a daily basis I feel that we've got lots of grand statements and exhibition moments but it's elements behind the scenes and the work that is done when no one is watching that really counts.
We have lots of inspiration, but the greatest things come from people that you don't even hear about.
I like supporting my clients as they are agents of change.
They're the ones who are creating innovation, driving change, visionary and hard working. These leaders feel responsible for what they do. They are the ones sitting up at night worrying how they're going to pay their staff.
They're the ones that are worrying about their grandchildren's legacy. They're the ones that cultivate friendships not just favours.
I think my whole purpose has been this from a very young age. To create a path way for others to see the road to their own potential and success does not have to be fraught with struggle and suffering. But one of grounded connection, of the unknown, or vision, mission and values constantly evolving along the way.
"My job is to help my clients and those listening on the show - feel empowered, to be in the driver's seat, to have a new road map for leadership in life, and to think this is it.
That is why I'm here, and it's only going to get better. Today feels like the beginning for me, and it's very, very exciting, and I'm very humbled".
I don't even know who's listening to it. I know it's 85 countries, but I know that when I get an email that comes and that says, "Thank you very much. You either saved my life or saved my company or saved my job," that's enough for me.
It was worth it.
Part 3 - Interviewed By Alison - What Is Success To Me?
Alison: Nikki you're all about creating success and bringing the best out in others. What does success mean for you?
Nikki: To me, success is very simple, it's like a word "replete." There's a beautiful word in the Oxford Dictionary, it's called replete which means completely satisfied, satiated.
Success is About Being replete
I actually feel, when I wake up in the morning, replete and I always remember saying to my clients:
... "If God or whoever your creator is, says to you … If this was the trajectory you're on, the people you're meeting, your passion, how you're looking at life, your perspective, whatever is on, this is where you're going. How would you feel?" I'd be like, "I'm in. Let's go."
Back Yourself and Have a vision
I think that that vision and that perspective - I got that instilled in me from a very early age.
Success is not what you have, it's who you have around you, how you feel, how you navigate, and knowing that you can back yourself.
I think that when you have that, you are capable of moving mountains.
You are legitimate, you're authentic, you're driven, you're tired, you're exhausted, you're beaten up, and then you just bounce right up. It's a gladiator approach.
Back yourself but be flexible and be present
To me, success is whatever you want it to be.
I'm work with dynamic interesting entrepreneurs at the moment that are taking a business in 3 and 10 times the size - way beyond what they ever imagined. It means working on the mindset of growth, team work and abundance and also redefining what their real success vital ingredients were.
"Things" don't make you happy in the long term but don't apologise if you enjoy quality things along the way if they mean something to you.
Being present is part of success - it is bringing the NOW in the centre and when you do that you feel everything is enough. It is a vital tool for harmony at any phase.
There is nothing wrong with pausing at regular points and really appreciate what you have done to date. "Look at what I've created." It's important to take in what we already have at any given moment. Like as simple for me as spending time outdoors walking your dog or having the most beautiful friends.
You can have lots and lots of things but you can't take those with you, so experiences, happiness, a sense of repleteness, whatever that looks like to you.
Disconnect to Reconnect
I think that you must be able to drop a pin on your own life and look at it with gratitude - not look at what everyone else is doing because, remember, five out of 10 things you see on social media are absolute nonsense.
If you were to put your phone down and look up for two minutes, how do you feel? Success is feeling really good about what you do, who you are, who you have around you …
To back yourself - is not about being arrogant, instead it's sense of deep trust in self and the process. When you look around life is pretty amazing - and when you come from that perspective daily it has a ripple effect with everything you do.
Thanks so much for tuning in to my show, reading the blogs and being a part of this journey with me.
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