TMM098 Bro Code Life Clint VoslooMar 17, 2019
Freshly Pressed from The Mojo Maker Show - Episode 98 - I chat with Brocode Founder Clint Vosloo on his personal journey - hero to ground zero and back.
From top of his game and "happily" married - to separation, navigating the way through child custody and the chips being down.
How he overcame "shame" to reach out for help, why vulnerability is an asset and how to surround yourself with the right people when you are going through challenges.
In this episode I chat with Clint about the purpose behind BROCODE Life and the new rules of engagement for men to be accountable in all areas of their world
Bro Code - Recognising There's An Issue
One of the hardest elements for anyone is to actually recognise that things are NOT right and to own that. Not to push it down, not to distract with other areas like work or going "under ground" into a man cave. But truly acknowledging there is a huge change occurring and things will not be the same.
Bro Code - Getting the Right Support
Clint shared that his parents view about not showing vulnerability was putting pressure not to get outside support. However in the end that approach wasn't working and he had to overcome the shame of "asking for help". Result = best thing he could have done.
Our message: Counselling is cool - just make sure you find a counsellor/therapist or coach who is truly experienced, you gel with really holds you accountable, has the right tools and genuinely wants the best outcome for you.
Friends? Great but ensure you gravitate towards friends who are supportive, not drama feeders or encouraging you to act out further. You need people around you in crisis that are emotionally healthy.
Bro Code - Redefining Your Internal Rule Book
The ideas and subconscious beliefs - your working set habits and reactions. that served you before, are probably not going to serve you now. Change is inevitable, growth is optional.
Chances are you will need to really evaluate what you are measuring your happiness, success and values against. Are you being accountable for your actions or just caught up in a cycle.
Bro Code - Be Willing To Hear A Difference Perspective
The path you're walking is not new - it just feels like it. When you are ready to listen ensure it's from friends and experts that actually live what they preach, are emotionally healthy and there to provide pragmatic advice.
When it comes to family, separation and custody there doesn't need to be anger and animosity.
It's so crucial to have a sound perspective to guide you through the most challenging processes, to avoid continued blame and to actually hold you accountable to set a good example for your future and for your children.
Bro Code - Get Focused
Stop looking back and really look at your own self to live your best life possible. Reflection is important but defining what great looks like is vital. This is something as a coach I focus on with my clients - what got you to this point is one thing, where you go to from here is firmly in your control.
- Avoid hanging out with toxic energy draining people
- Choose your time wisely
- Reinvest in your health and wellbeing
- Surround yourself with clear, supportive yet drama free friends
- Avoid gossip and negative conversation at all costs. It's not worth it.
- Do not drag your children into negative conversation - talk things through with a counsellor, a good friend or your coach - but let your children be kids and not take the burden and judgement on during what can be a difficult period in family life.
- Be accountable
+ My tip: DEFINE your who and what and be honest. Write out your DUDE LIST - what defines your best version of yourself. Clearly make sure you take the time to walk your talk and if you really want to attract the best in your life and demonstrate what balance and truth looks like for your children then you need to be prepared to do the work yourself.
Bro Code - There is ALWAYS a solution
Fundamentally the reason I asked Clint on the show as there are so many known yet unspoken elements for both men and women when going through loss of jobs, loss of a marriage or life as you thought you knew it.
The main point is THERE IS ALWAYS A SOLUTION. Whatever the journey you take to get there please choose the path of grace, humility and information. Never navigate this territory alone as it is already isolating and overwhelming and challenges all that you thought you knew in yourself and others.
Resources I recommend
Here are a couple of the top core books I lend, send or refer my clients with when they are ready to take the leap to stop blame and start to grow through change to truly lead in their life.
The untethered Soul by Michael Singer - I refer to this book in my postand podcast YOUR EGO IS NOT YOUR AMIGO! Time to get over yourself and recognise that little voice in your head is not your friend...
The Mandala Of Being Richard Moss. If you're feeling like you want to explore the now a little deeper and shed a lot of stories then this is a great book - only if you want to look at a more spiritual side as I know some of you reading this just want a Marine Corps approach to GSD. But I enjoy expanding my mind and practicing the art of truly being present. This has some cool little insights...
The Family By John Bradshaw - a heavier read and in-depth look at subconscious patterns created through family history and how to break those cycles for emotional health and wellbeing.
Brocode.life Clint has provided a special link for his new online program dedicated to helping men transition through separation and divorce and out the other side with positive tools and crucial reminders how to look forward and not back. CLICK HERE TO ACCESS
Note this topic to me IS HUGE - so this is just a quick look into so many points I want to discuss on my show and with experts going forward.
COME JOIN US ON THE ANNUAL DUDE RETEAT©
If you want to attend my annual DUDE RETREAT July 5,6,7 in Noosa Heads QLD with key speakers from Outside The Locker Room, sports hero's and CEO's who share their journey from Hero to Zero then back again - please send us an email here.
This is 3 days of integrated awesome work all around being the CEO of your business and your life and how to truly elevate to be healthy, wealthy and wise. I've been running these for 10 years (anniversary session this July) and I call it "the man break without the hand break". No disrespect to my fellow females - but it really makes a difference when we run guys only strategy retreats so it's very important for me to honour this tradition with integrity and remarkable results.
EMAIL US FOR THE DUDE RETREAT© DETAILS
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As always we would love your review on iTunes and sign up to my podcast on Spotify. I hope I inspire you to have a fresh perspective about your life and work and that it is crucial to keep growing, evolving and leading from within in all we do.
Yours in Mojo,
Special thanks to Clint - @brocodelife