How to stop self sabotaging your own true potential and stop blaming others

accountability business coaching how to be coachable owndership potential self leadership work with nikki Apr 28, 2022

How to stop self sabotaging your own true potential 

If you’re not getting something out  - what are you putting in?

I’ve gotten pretty specific in the last 12 months about coaching-coachee criteria now. Recently even more so! 

On a text  message with one of clients, now friends,  I reflected that I have been coaching in some capacity or another at a high performance level for the past 20+ years. That is A  LOT of hours, a lot of people and a lot of different experiences.

What I fundamentally and categorically will say is this:

"What ever the relationship, personal or professional - or even a sport or skill - you won’t get anything out of it unless you’re prepared to put the same energy, conviction and effort in".

All too often people buy a book, hire a coach, book a trainer, go to a workshop with a ‘hope’ of growth and change and to up-skill... and then nothing actually happens and they move on and try to find someone/something else.

99% of the time it is because they have NOT shown up properly for themselves.

You cannot learn and grow and get your ultimate potential in ANY area unlocked unless you are coachable. This requires what I call the 3 C's of ultimate coaching results:

  1. Consistency
  2. Communication
  3. Conviction

Not everyone who signs up for things is ready to change - but the important aspect is to identify the pace that you as the ‘coached’ are comfortable with.

So, I’m super focused now. I have a ‘coachable barometer’ to ensure the best outcomes and relationships with my clients and really ensure they know upfront this is an agile and very bespoke process to get radical results.

  • If you are coach or a trainer = whatever area of life, you also need to be able to be sure that who ever signs up actually values your info, time, service and delivery.
  • If you don't feel they are connecting then you need to be able to ask the tough questions as maybe a) they are not ready or b) they are just not the right fit. 

As a client, a team mate, a reader of a skills book or program - ask yourself these questions if you are afraid of not getting your value or ROI:

  1. Have you done the work - really?
  2. Do you ask your coach additional questions, do the minor detail work and commit to at least 30 days of focus with conviction
  3. If you are not sure, nervous or afraid to trust - have you voiced that

If you have not said yes to any of the above -  you are categorically sabotaging your results. This applies to sports, business, study, spiritual, any type of element you want to evolve and focus on becoming the best version of yourself at.

To stop self sabotaging your own true potential  - your  participation is required. 

Presently on my website you can’t 'sign up' for coaching, in fact you can’t even find out more about it in detail (that will change slightly in May as we pop up a new page with some philosophies and so forth)... However for the past years you can’t click “WORK WITH NIKKI”. . Sound weird? 

Most recently I have become even more radical in my approach to who I work with and how. Sometimes that also means adjusting the info as we go and having a good review where I can say - hey I am probably not the best coach for you at this time, but I can recommend XYZ. There is always the right coach fit when you are ready to learn and lean in. 

I understood the real depth of my commitment, extra lengths I will go to and alignment with my clients. I do not waiver on the quality of that, therefore a mutual relationship needs to occur to build trust where my clients actually realise  - wow this is the real deal, never experienced before but it all makes sense....The work we do and most importantly HOW we work is not a pre-determined set of modules and hours. It is in fact WAY more than that:

  • Hours of coaching possible to be split up any way as we design
  • Unlimited podcasts, videos, worksheets, agile modelling and a fully integrated approach to a brick by brick super solid foundation for success
  • 15 years of the Boardroom Retreats
  • 20+ years of coaching in wellbeing and business
  • Hundreds of hours of speaking and workshops
  • Over 350 videos and 168 podcast episodes
  • 550 blogs and articles +
  • 4 books

and on...

I have been doing this for a LONG TIME. However it is only recently that I have set the bar on my private coaching even higher.

What can I share with you about this: Here’s what I now send out and chat through with all new clients as part of the onboarding initial month to ensure a great chemistry to work together:

My private set of coaching questions I make sure I run through now with EVERY client 

  1. Are you all in?
  2. Do you understand your ROI and what we desire to get out of the work together as initial results at the very least?
  3. Do you feel comfortable enough to ask uncomfortable questions?
  4. Are you prepared to make the tiniest amount of time to do the work?
  5. Will you trust the process and the text anytime as a real set of support elements?
  6. Are you REALLY ready to go to the next level without even knowing what that looks and feels like yet?
  7. Are you going to put your hand up early enough if you are fearful, not sure what to do or what resources to use? 

To me these are very important questions to build the most solid relationship where I can create truly remarkable results with and for my clients. We are a family so it really matters. 

I can even apply these 6 questions to embarking on my polo journey.  How can you apply this?  

I recommend that if you are embarking on a program, picking up a book, or getting an online course, especially one like mine that has so many ways to reach out directly to me as your coach and author, I recommend you ask yourself those questions above.

The best growth is when you are truly out of your comfort zone. If you don’t trust and think everything is going to fail - chances are you’re not even putting the deep effort required to make it a success anyway.

How to stop self sabotaging your own true potential 

Don’t be afraid to ask the tough questions. Any great coach will only be too happy to step into the ring with you and support your very best results or even perhaps say they may not be the right fit.

So today - before you point the finger at a book, a program, a coach or a manager - ask yourself, how much have you really participated in applying yourself to the work together? 

We get out what we put in.

Signing up is easy - showing up is where the magic happens.

PS If you do want to know more about my IP and coaching models and process I am more than happy to chat. Just hit reply to my Monday Mojo email or contact me [email protected].  In the meantime there is so much free content, models, books and worksheets all available to you from me for free. Take your pic by choosing a challenge or a subject that interests you the most. 

My mantra - it’s the work we do when no one is watching that matters the most. 

Stay radical, get courageous, work with the right people.



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